( The impatience is clumsy and palpable, and Esikko laughs into the kiss for it. He pulls his hands back to himself to assist in undressing, discarding his things to the side one taunting layer at a time, all while leaning in, kissing, shifting more into his lap—
Ah, but pants make this a little difficult. With one more hard kiss to the mouth, he drags his tongue against Kirma's before pulling back, slipping to his feet so he can wiggle out of his clothes the rest of the way.
He's being showy about it. He's trying to make him even more impatient, of course. Is there something you want, Kirma?? Something you're dying for?? He'd love to hear it. )
( and between every layer, kirma is pawing, pulling. his shirt comes off easily somewhere in the middle of that, and he’s pressing their bodies together at every opportunity, reluctant to let esi go, necessary evil though it is. there’s even an audible noise of complaint as he stands, the neediness clear from the points of his ears to the steady rhythm of his tail against the sheets. )
Hurry—
( a demand clipped short by gritted teeth and a hiss that suppresses a far more desperate, needier noise that wells up in the back of his throat. he swallows it for now, opting to instead reach for esi’s bared waist, trying to drag him back preemptively. there’s no real force to the grab, or else esi might not have any choice but to comply; perhaps the communication of intent is what matters most.
there’s a distinct shift once he’s allowed to have his way, though. kirma wraps his arms around esi, presses his face into his chest. this was the realest endgame all along, you see— the compulsion in the drinks combined with an already present desire results in a need for feel rather than any particular action. )
( Esikko expects when Kirma is needy. He expects the pawing, the tugging, the pulling. Each time, he takes his sweet time getting the last of his layers off, living up every bit of the attention that he can. But when he's pulled closer, when Kirma simply rests into him in a hug...
It makes him freeze, for a moment. This was deeply uncomfortable. No, perhaps it was so achingly comfortable that it wrapped back around to being uncomfortable— Esikko feels at a loss for words, and he hesitates before bringing his hand down on Kirma's head in something like a pet. )
Is that all you want from me?
( The words that finally do come out are low, and he presses himself against Kirma, aiming to push him back and follow close. His free hand moves to run along Kirma's side to his thigh. All he knows how to do is turn this into something more expected. )
( would it be so wrong, if he said yes? from esi’s movements, he knows the answer. it does not stop him from trying to hold on for as long as he can, though there’s also little resistance to being pushed down, his arms relaxing as the distance between their bodies increases again. it isn’t that the touch at his thigh isn’t nice, or that he doesn’t feel any arousal. what he’s looking for is something far more intimate, though— regardless of if it’s a real want or an aftereffect of whatever they put in those drinks.
the drinks… are likely the easiest scapegoat, here. )
The only thing I want is you.
( what harm is there, in admitting that much? there isn’t quite a smile on his face, but there’s an adoration in his gaze as he stares up at esi. one hand comes up, tracing the line of one of esi’s marks with a finger that moves on to tuck a lock of hair behind his ear. a tender gesture better reserved for a lover in more than the physical sense of the word. )
( It's a scary feeling, that tender gesture. Perhaps it's because it's something he can't write off, something he can't explain away— or maybe it's the echoes of tender gestures that come with it, the overwhelming feeling in overlay, again, and again, on top of itself. It's suffocating, like there's going to be a point where he can't lift his head anymore, can't take in another breath after what he feels.
But right now, he can. Right now, something burning inside of him can hold onto that tenderness, and he has a direction for it. Leaning down, Esikko touches their foreheads together, his hand guiding Kirma's thigh to wrap around behind him all while he watches those mismatched eyes. )
...I can't be the only thing.
( His words are mumbles, eyes focused on Kirma and yet somewhere through him, all the same. He knows there is more that he wants. That there's no way the relationship he's seen growing with a certain blonde man isn't something he can claim to want. He knows that there's so much more than he, a useless prince still learning magic, has to offer.
But of course he wants to have that challenged. Wants to see Kirma meet him completely, to feel the warmth of their bodies crossing and connecting. When he pulls his forehead away from Kirma's, it's to duck down so that he can kiss him, fingers curling sharper into the base of his thigh.
It's not cuddling, no. But it's the only way he's learned how to express himself so far. )
( hmm. even in his current state of mind, hearing that as esi's response is enough to make him pause, his ears twitching even as the rest of him revels in the simple contact of them resting on each other. he cannot begin the guess at esi's thoughts, when that same man is the furthest thing from his mind right now, too singularly focused on the heat of the moment. maybe if he hadn't been drinking, he could've made the connection. maybe. )
You are, ( is all he can say, without that. a statement as earnest as it is simple, spoken from a place that cannot imagine anything that could contradict it. a place that also won't be in this room, come morning, when everything falls apart and unravels between the both of them.
that problem is for future kirma to deal with, though. the current him's primary concern is with the kiss, with opening his mouth to take in the lingering taste of sweetness and alcohol; it's with letting his arms circle esi's neck to pull him in all the better, running an open palm along the breadth of his back. unfortunately the trazie is hitting here And he's being kind of a pillow princess so this is the end of the tag now. goodbye )
( Kirma gets to be the royalty tonight, huh. Well, that's fine. Esikko would be doing whatever he wanted regardless, and the affectionate attention he's receiving right now feels nice over the buzz of the alcohol. He kisses deeper, hand slipping from Kirma's thigh to position between his legs. He swipes a finger playfully along his ass, cupping his balls into his palm before he drags up and over his shaft, curling into a gentle grip.
Here, he giggles a little into the kiss, clearly pleased with himself. It's fun, to tease like this. To do what feels strangely like was always meant to happen, but never could— and as his teeth graze gently across Kirma's bottom lip, he allows himself to forget anything else. )
( there is a part of him that wishes it could be this way forever. some say the magic fades once you get used to a thing, but— how many lives have they spent together? enough that it surely would’ve happened by now, were it possible. yet kirma never tires of any moment with esi, no matter how fraught things are. even when he’s agitated, complaining, sulking, the spaces between each thought are filled with warmth, and maybe that’s the true thing that anchors him there. if they could somehow come together without those things, though?
it’s akin to a pleasant dream, and right now, he gets to live it thoroughly. his legs part further, angling to try and facilitate esi’s movements, whatever they may be. the giggle is enough to pluck a heartstring, sending so much tension along the sinew that it feels ready to snap. really, why couldn’t it last— why couldn’t they thread themselves together, if they’re already irreversibly intertwined— to his addled mind, it all seems so straightforward. so easy. truly, the way it all backfires will shock him.
that doesn’t matter quite yet. right now, in this room, he’s more occupied with the body atop him; with a hand, he traces the shape of the still-healing gouges down his torso, a gentle echo of the violence from that day. there’s something akin to regret in his gaze, his fingertips lingering at the same spot they’d once pushed in so deep. there’s new skin there, knit soft and pink over a lurid moment, and maybe, with any luck, in another month there’ll be nothing there at all. )
( Soft touches over scars where he'd been so much less gentle before do not go unnoticed by Esikko. They're answered with a curve of his lips, a smile that could almost be called understanding, one that might border on it— it's complicated, the way he feels about that encounter. The way he feels about the two of them at all, stuck in an endless cycle of give and take, and by his own doing. His feelings shift by the day, the hour, the minute, and isn't that how it's always been? Isn't that what's the most exciting?
It feels like Kirma is someone he can toss aside and still look back to find there, waiting. There's a security in that, in the constant test of setting him free, of pushing him back and then pulling him in.
Right now, Esikko only cares about this warmth, the giddiness encouraged by alcohol and closeness. He turns his face slightly, as he leans closer, positioning himself so that his long fingers can wrap around the both of them together. Maybe just this is nice, a lazy, comfortable sort of stroking, a togetherness that feels right. His nose nudges into the side of Kirma's face, unusually tender, and he plants a new kiss there, at his jaw line. )
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no subject
Ah, but pants make this a little difficult. With one more hard kiss to the mouth, he drags his tongue against Kirma's before pulling back, slipping to his feet so he can wiggle out of his clothes the rest of the way.
He's being showy about it. He's trying to make him even more impatient, of course. Is there something you want, Kirma?? Something you're dying for?? He'd love to hear it. )
no subject
Hurry—
( a demand clipped short by gritted teeth and a hiss that suppresses a far more desperate, needier noise that wells up in the back of his throat. he swallows it for now, opting to instead reach for esi’s bared waist, trying to drag him back preemptively. there’s no real force to the grab, or else esi might not have any choice but to comply; perhaps the communication of intent is what matters most.
there’s a distinct shift once he’s allowed to have his way, though. kirma wraps his arms around esi, presses his face into his chest. this was the realest endgame all along, you see— the compulsion in the drinks combined with an already present desire results in a need for feel rather than any particular action. )
no subject
( Esikko expects when Kirma is needy. He expects the pawing, the tugging, the pulling. Each time, he takes his sweet time getting the last of his layers off, living up every bit of the attention that he can. But when he's pulled closer, when Kirma simply rests into him in a hug...
It makes him freeze, for a moment. This was deeply uncomfortable. No, perhaps it was so achingly comfortable that it wrapped back around to being uncomfortable— Esikko feels at a loss for words, and he hesitates before bringing his hand down on Kirma's head in something like a pet. )
Is that all you want from me?
( The words that finally do come out are low, and he presses himself against Kirma, aiming to push him back and follow close. His free hand moves to run along Kirma's side to his thigh. All he knows how to do is turn this into something more expected. )
no subject
the drinks… are likely the easiest scapegoat, here. )
The only thing I want is you.
( what harm is there, in admitting that much? there isn’t quite a smile on his face, but there’s an adoration in his gaze as he stares up at esi. one hand comes up, tracing the line of one of esi’s marks with a finger that moves on to tuck a lock of hair behind his ear. a tender gesture better reserved for a lover in more than the physical sense of the word. )
… However you’ll have me.
( and whether he’s wanted in return or not. )
no subject
But right now, he can. Right now, something burning inside of him can hold onto that tenderness, and he has a direction for it. Leaning down, Esikko touches their foreheads together, his hand guiding Kirma's thigh to wrap around behind him all while he watches those mismatched eyes. )
...I can't be the only thing.
( His words are mumbles, eyes focused on Kirma and yet somewhere through him, all the same. He knows there is more that he wants. That there's no way the relationship he's seen growing with a certain blonde man isn't something he can claim to want. He knows that there's so much more than he, a useless prince still learning magic, has to offer.
But of course he wants to have that challenged. Wants to see Kirma meet him completely, to feel the warmth of their bodies crossing and connecting. When he pulls his forehead away from Kirma's, it's to duck down so that he can kiss him, fingers curling sharper into the base of his thigh.
It's not cuddling, no. But it's the only way he's learned how to express himself so far. )
no subject
You are, ( is all he can say, without that. a statement as earnest as it is simple, spoken from a place that cannot imagine anything that could contradict it. a place that also won't be in this room, come morning, when everything falls apart and unravels between the both of them.
that problem is for future kirma to deal with, though. the current him's primary concern is with the kiss, with opening his mouth to take in the lingering taste of sweetness and alcohol; it's with letting his arms circle esi's neck to pull him in all the better, running an open palm along the breadth of his back. unfortunately the trazie is hitting here And he's being kind of a pillow princess so this is the end of the tag now. goodbye )
no subject
Here, he giggles a little into the kiss, clearly pleased with himself. It's fun, to tease like this. To do what feels strangely like was always meant to happen, but never could— and as his teeth graze gently across Kirma's bottom lip, he allows himself to forget anything else. )
no subject
it’s akin to a pleasant dream, and right now, he gets to live it thoroughly. his legs part further, angling to try and facilitate esi’s movements, whatever they may be. the giggle is enough to pluck a heartstring, sending so much tension along the sinew that it feels ready to snap. really, why couldn’t it last— why couldn’t they thread themselves together, if they’re already irreversibly intertwined— to his addled mind, it all seems so straightforward. so easy. truly, the way it all backfires will shock him.
that doesn’t matter quite yet. right now, in this room, he’s more occupied with the body atop him; with a hand, he traces the shape of the still-healing gouges down his torso, a gentle echo of the violence from that day. there’s something akin to regret in his gaze, his fingertips lingering at the same spot they’d once pushed in so deep. there’s new skin there, knit soft and pink over a lurid moment, and maybe, with any luck, in another month there’ll be nothing there at all. )
no subject
It feels like Kirma is someone he can toss aside and still look back to find there, waiting. There's a security in that, in the constant test of setting him free, of pushing him back and then pulling him in.
Right now, Esikko only cares about this warmth, the giddiness encouraged by alcohol and closeness. He turns his face slightly, as he leans closer, positioning himself so that his long fingers can wrap around the both of them together. Maybe just this is nice, a lazy, comfortable sort of stroking, a togetherness that feels right. His nose nudges into the side of Kirma's face, unusually tender, and he plants a new kiss there, at his jaw line. )